I am resenting the world right now for forcing me to care about Kim Kardashian’s (most-recent) naked selfie post. Because deep down, in my heart of hearts, I don’t care about Kim Kardashian’s naked selfie post. But everyone else does! And as is often the case, it’s when other people start weighing in with their thoughts and cares and Very Important Opinions, that issues and conversations related to naked celebrity selfies become interesting.
First, let’s review!
Kim K posts naked selfie:
When you're like I have nothing to wear LOL pic.twitter.com/UlSLZb1fp1
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) March 7, 2016
Several celebrities say things:
Kim Kardashian tweeted a nude selfie today. If Kim wants us to see a part of her we've never seen,
she's gonna have to swallow the camera.— Bette Midler (@BetteMidler) March 7, 2016
@KimKardashian I truly hope you realize how important setting goals are for young women, teaching them we have so much more to offer than-
— Chloë Grace Moretz (@ChloeGMoretz) March 7, 2016
@KimKardashian – just our bodies.
— Chloë Grace Moretz (@ChloeGMoretz) March 7, 2016
I know the old man's $50 million in debt, Kim – but this is absurd.
Want me to buy you some clothes? https://t.co/hEA9osB2QF— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) March 7, 2016
It's time for @KimKardashian to put her clothes back on.
My column: https://t.co/4H59Vxj45V https://t.co/h9LEDWN9wy pic.twitter.com/CqYasM51ux— Piers Morgan (@piersmorgan) March 8, 2016
Kim K defends herself:
https://twitter.com/KimKardashian/status/707077609964699648
hey @piersmorgan never offer to buy a married woman clothes. thats on some ashley madison type shit #forresearch
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) March 8, 2016
let's all welcome @ChloeGMoretz to twitter, since no one knows who she is. your nylon cover is cute boo
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) March 8, 2016
hey @BetteMidler I really didn't want to bring up how you sent me a gift awhile back trying to be a fake friend then come at me #dejavu
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) March 8, 2016
Miley Cyrus weighs in:
Amber Rose and Pink weigh in:
https://www.instagram.com/p/BCvP5njkq5K/
Kim uses naked selfie brouhaha (and International Women’s Day) to sell product:
HAPPY #INTERNATIONALWOMENSDAY https://t.co/PStwuNp9bl pic.twitter.com/QFI40gkyUO
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) March 8, 2016
Internet conclusion:
Kim is liberated! Women are liberated! LIBERATION FOR EVERYONE!
#liberated pic.twitter.com/5UVNrokpBc
— Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) March 8, 2016
Kim Kardashian wrote a bold feminist defense of her naked selfie pic.twitter.com/Hj6eDJpXS7
— Mic (@mic) March 9, 2016
Kim looks great, and we better not hear anymore slut/stripper shaming from anyone in or near this family ever. https://t.co/QkRJWyy8rv
— Kimberly N. Foster (@KimberlyNFoster) March 7, 2016
Kim. Kardashian. Here for it.
— roxane gay (@rgay) March 8, 2016
@kimkardashian you inspired me! #liberated #thetalk pic.twitter.com/R02CdqiCqO
— Sharon Osbourne (@MrsSOsbourne) March 9, 2016
Whew. So many tweets! So many liberations! I’ll make this quick:
1) Kim K is a marketing genius! By which I mean, of course, she is well aware that posting naked selfies is an excellent way to further her bank account and celebrity. Now is a good time to remind everyone that the only reason Kim is famous is because she decided she wanted to be famous. Her most notable skill is the ability to be a celebrity, to gain public attention, and to profit from said attention.
2) Kim K does not deserve to be shamed for her sex tape. Which, apparently, people still like to do. Move on. I also don’t think it’s useful, interesting, or necessary to tell her to put her clothes back on. Kim K is not ever going to put her clothes back on.
3) Kim K does not post naked selfies of herself in order to liberate women from oppression. She does it for her career. Kim has the right to build a career however she likes, but the fact that she is successful at this does not necessarily make her a role-model for women. In other words, her self-objectification is not helpful to anyone, except maybe her, in a bank account-type way (which she admits to wholeheartedly). Men’s jack off material is not revolutionary. (The non-censored version is being shared out there by dudes on Twitter, too, for the record, among the many other nude photos of Kim that she and Kanye put online, fairly routinely. I’m not gonna link to it though, nope.)
4) Kim K is literally defending the millions of dollars she is making as we speak for, again, doing nothing significant whatsoever. Ok, that’s not entirely true… The video game she references in her tweet is called “Kim Kardashian: Hollywood.” In the game, the player’s goal is to “increase their fame and reputation, starting on the E-list and rising to the A-list.” So I guess the significant thing she is doing is contributing to the notion that the most important thing one can be in life is “famous.” Which is, really, kind of her signature thing and has also shaped our culture in a pretty notable, albeit horrible, way.
5) I’d like to take this opportunity to answer Kim’s very serious question about “why people get so bothered by what other people choose to do with their lives”: It’s because your entire raison d’être is making other people care about every single thing you have ever chosen to do in your life, Kim. Like, literally. You were made famous through a reality show* which was created in order to make you famous. By engaging the entire world in all of the things you choose to do with your life.
Now, this doesn’t mean I think Kim deserves to be shit on or what some like to call “slut-shamed,” it just means that trying to make this conversation about “liberation” or “body-shaming” and then propping Kim up as some brave feminist icon is, IMHO, incredibly stupid.
6) In conclusion, this:
Kim K. – The feminist philosopher icon we deserve.
— Moshe Kasher (@moshekasher) March 9, 2016
*Full disclosure, I enjoy watching Keeping Up with the Kardashians. I like Kourtenay’s lipstick, I think Khloe is funny, and I also think they are actually a kind of nice family, in that they seem to care a great deal for one another. I also watch Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I am not proud of this and do not endorse reality TV watching as an Official Feminist Pastime.