Interview Archives

INTERVIEW ARCHIVES: Occupy Valentine’s Day – An interview with Samhita Mukhopadhyay

I spoke with Feministing’s executive editor, Samhita Mukhopadhyay, back in February 2012 about the romantic industrial complex and her ‘Occupy Valentine’s Day’ initiative. She wrote, in a blog post: In an effort to push the bounds of that exclusivity that so many of us feel on Valentine’s day, I wanted to think about the ways we can rethink love and romance to resemble who we are, as singles, couples and community. Celebrating love is a beautiful thing but shouldn’t depend on if we are in a relationship or not, our sexual orientation, our class background, our citizenship status or our marital status. Mukhopadhyay’s response to the romantic industrial complex and to many of the sexist and heteronormative messages perpetuated by Valentine’s Day was to start a tumblr called Occupy...
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Can men and women be ‘just’ friends? An interview with my ‘just’ friend, Tom

Last week I began a little project based on the frequently asked question: “Can women and men be ‘just’ friends?” For the purposes of my (and hopefully your) entertainment and interest, I’ll be publishing transcripts from some of the interviews I conduct over the next week or two.   Tom The second interview I did for this series was with my friend Tom. I’ve known Tom for about 15 years or so. We went to high school together. I had a really big crush on him for a few months after he played Sky Masterson in our school’s production of Guys and Dolls. Basically the way to my heart is through musical theatre and/or hip-hop karaoke. Tom is 33 years old, heterosexual and married. We’re pretty close and have...
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Can men and women be ‘just’ friends? A completely unscientific survey

“Can women and men be ‘just’ friends” is probably one of the stupidest, yet most-asked questions in lazy feminist/sex/gender writing… So here we go! In July, The Daily Mail published an article about a recent study done on the subject, writing: Researchers have found that men’s friendships with the opposite sex are driven by  sexual attraction, regardless of whether they are single. Women, however, are more likely to consider their friendships with men as platonic – and only hoped for more if their own relationship was in trouble. The study, called  Benefit or Burden: Attraction in Cross-Sex Friendship, surveyed “88 pairs of young male and female friends were asked to rate their attraction to each other in a confidential questionnaire”. The conclusion was that, according to The Daily Mail:...
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30 things that will make you want to kill yourself whether or not you’re 30; courtesy of Glamour

HAY LADIES! Turning thirty? Time to crawl into a hole and die. That is, of course, unless you have a man, a sexy bra, and tons of cash. That’s right! Ever helpful, Glamour and Huffington Post have teamed up to squish women down, down, down just a little further and reinforce heterosexism and classism while they’re at it. Because what was popular and relevant fifteen years ago is important news today, Huffington Post has reprinted a list of thirty things that EVERY woman should have and know by the time they are thirty. The list was originally published by Glamour and apparently “became a popular chain letter” — because you know how popular is it for women to hate themselves! Not only will you never be good enough but...
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Link love: Occupying Valentine’s Day across the interwebz

Last month, Samhita Mukhopadhyay wrote, in a blog post: …in an effort to push the bounds of that exclusivity that so many of us feel on Valentine’s day, I wanted to think about the ways we can rethink love and romance to resemble who we are, as singles, couples and community. Celebrating love is a beautiful thing but shouldn’t depend on if we are in a relationship or not, our sexual orientation, our class background, our citizenship status or our marital status. In response to dominant cultural norms and expectations around love and romance, Samhita created a tumblr called Occupy Valentine’s Day. Check out all the awesome and inspirational pieces that have worked to challenge the romantic industrial complex and couple-talism or have, more generally, looked at love and...
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Occupy Valentine's Day

Most of my love stories end with me feeling like I put a whole lot of energy into trying to build something out of nothing. Lust turns to love so easily and before you know it you’re invested in a relationship that seems more important than you. You end up trying to save a relationship for the sake of the relationship rather than trying to save yourself. Before you all start accusing me of being bitter or hard or cold or damaged or whatever else women with personalities and life experience are, I’m not anti-romance and I’m not anti-love. I get sucked into all that lovey crap like the best of us. That said, I like to keep a healthy level of cynicism (hey, let’s just go right ahead...
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