I don’t know whether to laugh, cry, cheer, or drink a bottle of wine and have a very long nap, but this recent post on Ms. Magazine’s blog about Slutwalk LA almost left me speechless.

I can’t tell if the author is just being honest, at long last, about the apolitical, selfish, pointlessness of Slutwalk or if she’s just completely clueless.*

After all the talk about Slutwalk supposedly being ‘a parody’ or ‘ironic’ (NO, NO YOU GUYS. YOU JUST DON’T GET IT. WE’RE SLUTS! …get it?), this post actually threw me for a loop. So, this is the parody thing y’all were going on about, yeah?

Dressed in bras and underwear, fishnets and the occasional lace-up platform boot, we all had, according to comedian Luce Tomlin-Brenner, an air of slutitude. Add in the fact that most everyone raised their hand to liking sex—whether stoned, for pleasure or with more than one person—and it could not be disputed: We were completely, totally, 100 percent sluts.

‘We love sex and we’re sluts! Take that, patriarchy! We wear lingerie to challenge, um…We’re not sure! SLUTS YOU GUYS!’

Sigh.

The author admits to everything. I almost feel relieved. “Politics were largely left out of this year’s Los Angeles event,” she says. So…Just like every other Slutwalk event? Good then.

“It’s that third wave-y feel—that individualistic empowerment—that has made SlutWalk popular among young women,” she goes on to say, adding “Less emotionally intense than anti-rape rallies such as Take Back the Night, SlutWalk is more for spectacle.”

Are we all getting this? Slutwalk is an apolitical, individualistic spectacle about wearing lingerie and having something called ‘slutitude.’

Ok no. I think I want to cry. I am simultaneously too amused and horrified for napping.

The photos of young women in their underwear reinforces the message. Apparently some young men were overheard talking about how they wanted to go “check out the sluts.”

On one hand I’m relieved that Slutwalk is being upfront about how very lost they are, on the other, I feel like stabbing myself in the eye.

If y’all need me I’ll be at the bar.

 

 

*Update! I’ve had a conversation with the author of the post referenced here and she is, in fact, not clueless, but rather was trying to point out some of the problematic aspects of Slutwalk in her post. She is planning on writing on post outlining her criticisms more thoroughly in the near future. Stay tuned!